Homesickness. adjective.

Homesick:

adjective

sad or depressed from a longing for home or family while away from them for a long time.

Also, a condition that comes on suddenly, when you think of the way your own bed feels, or the evenings with your family that you took for granted, that feels like a kick in the guts and doesn't leave you alone.

 

I wasn't homesick until this past week. The thought really didn't cross my mind for the first month of my travels. But when the friend I was traveling with left, and I was by myself again, I really started to feel it. Of course, the saying is true "You're never really alone when you travel alone," but I grow tired of brief friendships and friendly acquaintances for company. I grow tired of eating alone, of going on adventures with no one to share them with me, and of eating alone when I must. Eating alone is a really sad thing, and it always makes me feel uncomfortable. In Pai, I had a lot of solitude. As a result, I became quite homesick and depressed. All the things I never knew I would miss suddenly brought tears to my eyes when I thought of them. Here listed below are some of those things.

 

Dinner with my family. As I skipped dinner and walked back to my bungalow in the rain, I thought about family dinner. How amazing is a dinner with family?! How could I ever have taken it for granted? I have been craving a  barbecue night, with burgers on the grill, corn on the cob, coleslaw, and a can of baked beans. More than the food, however, I crave the company and conversation of my family. We laugh so much, and someone always seems to have a hilarious story to share. When I get home, a family dinner is my first priority.

 

My own bed. When I can't sleep in some uncomfortable budget dorm, I close my eyes and pretend that I'm in my own bed, with my own sheets, pillows, and blankets. They smell like my house, and candles, and laundry, not like someone who stayed there before me. There is something so comforting about ones own bed, which I never really realized until I started staying in so many hostels. 

 

Toilet paper. I know this one is dumb, but I am starting to miss the comforts of home. If you want toilet paper in Thailand, you have to buy it yourself, and carry it with you. The same goes for soap. 

Mountains. It's strange how much a person Identifies his or her self by their surroundings. When My plane flies over the Bridgers, my heart will do little home coming dance. I miss the strong wind and crisp clean air of the mountains, and their reassuring presence when I see them every morning. 

 

Even though I am homesick, I am so appreciative of this trip and all the experiences and knowledge it has brought me. It has opened my mind to so many people and so many different ways of life. This is my last week in Thailand. I can't believe it. I leave for Bangkok tonight on MY LAST NIGHTBUS of the trip, and I'll spend my my last few days being a quintessential backpacker around the Khaosan road.