Ethiopia or bust

So, remember the Super-secret summer adventure I hinted at in my last post? It is no longer a super secret, because here's the story. While sitting in church one snowy morning in March, a video clip played on the large overhead screens. In this video, children in Addis Abbaba, Ethiopia were shown living in a huge garbage dump. Most of them are orphans. The video also talked about how they had received scholarships to attend and live at a Christian school called the Bright Hope School, but only through the school year. In order for them to be able to attend the school in the fall, they must attend summer camp. There are around 400 children who will be attending. At the very end of the video it asked if anyone felt called to be part of the ten person team and help lead summer camp and bring God's love to these children. My heart screamed "YES!" but at the time I still had not heard from Clydehurst and my possible employment there. But I didn't stop thinking about those kids, the video played over and over in my head. When I heard from Clydehurst I was devastated but within a few days I began to think even more about Ethiopia. A week later I attended an informational meeting about the trip. The cost is $3,000, and if I wasn't destined to go, that alone would have stopped me, not including that I didn't have a passport and that except for a family vacation to Canada I've never been out of the country. But it didn't stop me, and immediately after the meeting I was at home filling out the application for the trip. That night I handed it in to the trip organizer, but I only had to wait for her to read the first pages for her to say "you're coming." I asked again and again if indeed I really was going but the answer never changed. So now, in August of this year we'll leave for the most life-altering three weeks of my life, and I couldn't be more excited. My entire summer fell into place in less than one week. Fund raising and working my buns off will consume my days, but I wouldn't have it any other way. God is surprising. Two months ago I wouldn't have imagined this, but tonight the team has their first meeting and I'm blessed enough to be part of it. I prayed for adventure, I prayed for a chance to help people in a big way, I prayed to be a part of God's plan, and I miraculously got all three at the same time. $3,000 dollars? It seemed impossible but now I know God will get us there. I know a lot of you wonderful readers out there aren't religious, and that I talk about God a lot in this post, but I have to write it because know that He's behind all of these miracles. But if you do believe in God, pray for me. Because I need your help.

Closed Doors, Open Windows

So, my dear friends and readers, it has been awhile. In my earlier posts I wrote about my dream job at Clydehurst Christian Ranch (CCR), and how amazing my summer there would be. I thought I was perfect for that job and that it would be crazy if I was not accepted. Well, Crazy has a way of following me around because I received word from them last week. In my application there was a Beliefs section, which asked our thoughts on controversial issues such as drugs and alcohol, abortion, and homosexuality. I answered with candid honesty, that drugs were wrong, and that I abhor abortion unless the baby was predetermined to be born with a life-crushing disability (such as head-to-toe paralysis). As for homosexuality, I wrote that while it says it is a sin in the Bible and I agree with that, but I have friends who are born homosexuals, and since they cannot change the way they are, I don't try to change them either, but I love them anyway. Anyway, CCR emailed me to tell me that they were looking for older staff this year. I had no issue with that, and actually agreed with that decision, but they then went on to say that my "thoughts" about said issues did not align with their [conservative] views. I can understand why my belief about abortion could be wrong, but they told me that they believe that homosexuality is an unacceptable sin. They even suggested that I talk to my parents or pastor about these issues. Really? Do you think that some homosexuals haven't tried to change the way they are? Sure, some are just plain messing around where they shouldn't be, but some have truly tried to be heterosexual. What do we tell them if we are living in that narrow-minded frame? "God doesn't love you"? Or even simply "go to hell"? I think not. God loves everybody, and I know that for a fact. So, the lesson I learned here was that if I'm going to be a spectacular individual, I need to know what I believe and stand by it, even when it takes away an incredible opportunity. There's a phrase that says that when God closes one door, he opens another. In this case, He closed a door in my face and instead of opening another one, he opened the window instead. I have a Super-secret Summer Adventure possible, but I'll have to climb through the windows to get there, because it's not nearly as easy as walking through a door. I will update you with my plan as soon as I get a few questions answered. Until then, remember to do crazy things, smile, laugh, love, and take the high road in your life, because that's where the sun is.

Quicksilver life

Life is rushing past at such a rapid pace, It almost scares me. I registered for classes of my junior year. It seems like class of 2013 was just walking through the halls as timid freshman. But next year we're all juniors. Then, after that, is the fantasized and glorified senior year, and after that... Our futures are no longer guided by the parallel lines of public education. Our fragile high school friendships will fizzle out until we can no longer remember the sound of our friends laughter or understand why those things we said were so funny. We'll all grow up. This seemed like something that will never happen, like driving towards the horizon but never meeting the edge of the earth. But it will happen, and I probably will be too grown up and preoccupied to even notice. What will happen if every moment is not acknowledged and stretched to its full potential? Answer that on your own, because it may not bother you. But it bothers me; I feel like I'm constantly wasting my own time along with that of everyone around me.  I want to travel around the world a thousand times over, because I know that if I do, I still won't have even come close to seeing and experiencing and knowing what life is about, no matter how temporary life is. That is why I must constantly reinvent myself, because life is far too fleeting to remain the same through it all. I decided to write about this today not only because it has been  lodged into my mind, but also because I want to remind you all that everything matters. Every moment, either wasted or used wisely.
Here is a list of things to do in order to start making every moment count. Choose something off this list, or make your own list, do it, and make some memories.

• Get up early, watch the sunrise 
• Give someone something (money, food, encouragement, time, love)
• Build a monument to something or someone
• Stand up for someone
• Take off your shoes, run around
• Sing in the shower
• Make a fort
• Tell a secret
• Conquer a phobia
• Leave a love note
• Climb a mountain (or a hill)
• Discover something
• Watch the sunset, all of it 

An Ode To Some Things Wonderful.

Since I regrettably do not have the time for a long post tonight, I'm just going to share some highlights.

Beautiful things i saw today:

• The proud look on a mentally disabled girl's face when Special Olympics was announced at our winter pep rally.
• The ice cream sorbet colored sunset across the Tobacco Root mountains.

• The non-judgmental look on my new friends face as I talked way too loudly.

The nicest thing someone said to me today: 

"Your hands are freezing! Let me shelter them."

Something that surprised me today:

The fact that my older brother asked how my day was when he picked me up form drivers ed.

Life is beautiful, beauty is everywhere.

Everything is beautiful

I feel like I've crossed over into some sunny enlightenment, and I feel as though I've just walked out of a cave. What a wonderful feeling it is. There is about seven new inches of snow in Bozeman today, and with it comes the question of how in the world could anyone hate winter? Since I haven't written in a long time, I'll catch you up. We got a yellow lab a few days ago and his name is Lucky. About a week ago we got a parakeet, who I first named Emerson, but who we now call Bitey, for reasons that should be obvious. Since I wrote about the broken zipper on my coat, I had been saving up my money for many weeks and bought a wonderful blue coat yesterday, which gives me all the more reason to adore winter. Also, the coordinator of the camp that i want to work at this summer had told me that my application has not been disqualified and that I'm going through to the hiring process. This doesn't mean that I'm positively working there yet, but it means that I'm one step closer. I read a quote this morning that said 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,' and I just can't get that out of my head, what an awesome image.  So, since I have copious amounts of review homework to complete today, I'd just like to let you know that there is beauty in everything, and if you notice it, you will undoubtedly be filled with joy.

First Night In Bozeman

In my life I feel the strong need to take the ordinary and make magic out of it, or at least adventure. Much of this comes from moving across the country in a pick-up truck and a minivan, with all our belongings in a horse trailer. My first night in the glory of the west was not a magical one in any way; We had been promised open plains, rolling hills, blue skies, and sunsets. We drove the last four hours to Bozeman in the rain, with an air of depression all around us. I didn't care for the mountains, and I hated Bozeman with all the passion in my ten-year-old body. When we arrived, we had no food, so Walter and dad went to the grocery store, and mom and I went to find a hotel. Our first and only stop was the Imperial Inn, downtown. I honestly cannot remember liking a place less. It smelled like decay, and it also looked like decay. After waiting on the Duct-taped pleather chairs for around a half an hour, dad called us and asked us to meet him at Albertsons grocery store, because we were going to stay in a place a friend at the church had given us. We went, bought a serated knife, a foot long sub, and a box of Honey Bunches Of Oats with Peaches cereal. We also bought four of those long rugs with the rubber on the bottom, which I'll tell you about later. We got to the "place" we had been given and I had no doubt why it had been free. It was number 59 in Wagon Wheel trailer park, it smelled like stale alcohol and urine, there were wild mushrooms (the non-edible variety) growing in the corner of the bathroom, and the whole trailer was placed at a tilt, so the anything you dropped on the left side would zoom to the other side and smack into the wall. after spending ten minutes in the trailer, my mom sat, leaning on the open door frame, and cried. When we were all inside we ate the food we had bought, cut with the knife we had bought, while sitting on the gritty floor together. Eventually we realized we would have to sleep here, and this is where the rugs come in. I spent my first night in Bozeman sleeping on that rug, which is now serving its intended purpose in the laundry room. Somehow we turned this place into a home, which has taught me that any place and any situation can be spectacular. Since I wrote about Wagon Wheel, I have to write about Henrietta. She was our next door neighbor, and at least once a week she would pound her elderly fist on our door and request the use of our cell phone. She was around 68, but she walked everywhere if she wasn't taking the Gallavan, and I believed she was certifiably off her rocker. Everyday she would turn on her favorite song, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, and listen to it multiple times on the highest volume setting available. I loved her and hated her at the same time. I feel the need to mention her because there's never been anyone quite as out there as she was. And probably still is, because to my knowledge she won't put her feet up until they fall off. After we had settled into this new life, I got the sunsets I was promised. I had a kite that was as big as me, and on breezy evenings my dad would take Walter and I to an Abandoned field near the trailer park and we would fly the kite against the backdrop of the sky and the mountains. And as the sun set we would lie down on the dead grass and watch as the sun sank sleepily into the the Tobacco Root mountains. Those times were magic.

Water All Around

Why is life like weather? Sometimes we can be happy, but it's only a matter of time before the clouds, the wind, and the rain are back again. And sometimes, when you expect it least, there comes a flood. We are in a flood. The reliable things in my life are washing away, and though I've accepted the fact that I personally can't change it, it still cuts like a knife. My uncle has cancer. It sounds too distant to say uncle. My mom's brother has cancer. It's bad. Stage four, and they just found out today. She is worried sick, even though she won't show it. I know everything happens for a reason, but I sure would like to know the reason behind this, God. I want to know why I see the people who hold me together falling apart. I want to know why we are numb and cold toward each other, and I want a book of answers. When the earth was flooded, and while Noah and the animals were safe and cozy on their boat, I wonder about the rest of the people, dirty and sinful and wet, and how they felt. Terrified and overwhelmed, with their hearts in their throats and their laughter gone. Maybe about how I am feeling now, but probably worse. Yesterday was not easy, but it was so much easier than today. Tomorrow might seem new, but it might get stained. And even though the rain is fun to dance in, it will make our lives messy afterword. And even though the clouds will give us shade, they make us forget the sun. And even though the wind blows us away from our stagnant lives, it never, ever tells us where to go.