Future Avocado Tree

The first time I saw an avocado tree in real life, I thought it was a pretty genius invention of nature. Not only does it grow a super food, but it is a slender and lush green tree that is quite aesthetically pleasing. I found instructions on how to grow your own from a link on Pinterest.com. The one in my picture will never grow to be the size of the one I saw growing in Ethiopia, but still, it's and avocado tree. That's pretty cool. I had to write the note for it because my family is familiar with the chaos I leave in my wake, and I didn't want them to clean up after me and throw away my baby avocado tree without knowing what it was. It will take weeks to even start a tap root, but I'll try to post another picture of it when it does.

The Super-Cool Plan

Now, my friends, is the time for the great revealing of next years tentative plan. (NOTE: the plans contained herein are in no way definite or concrete, they are merely me acting on what God has told me to do). As many of you know, I had plans to go to Morocco in August, but those plans fell through on June 1st. For awhile I was overwhelmingly depressed, and had no idea of why in the world God would let me be so sad and confused. Things turned around pretty quickly, however, when I began to think, What if I just go to Ethiopia when I turn 18, like I have wanted all along? This idea seemed too good to be true, and so I just prayed about it. The more I prayed, the more possible it began to seem. About a month ago, I contacted a wonderful woman I had met in Ethiopia, and asked her if they needed any help. After a few emails, honest responses to questions, and many days of waiting, I am now filling out an application for a job in Ethiopia, doing the work of my dreams. The application process is super lengthy and involved, but I've found that one will do just about anything for something they love. If hired, the position will be volunteer only, so I will have to raise all of my own support through donations and fundraising. I don't mind though. I'm meant to live in Africa, and God will provide for me. Those two things are clearer to me than anything else in my life right now. I am really hoping to get this job; everything about it seems right, and the process that would usually seems tedious seems almost easy, and is going smoothly. I feel a sense of exhilaration and hope for the future. I am planning to leave in April, but who knows, they might need to wait a little longer in order to get everything I need done. It doesn't matter to me, as long as I am going to Ethiopia. I think about going back everyday, and everyday I seem to miss it more. When Jesus is in control, it is amazing what an impact two weeks can have on an open heart. The ugly picture you see on the top right side is a picture of my computer desk this morning, with all of the application papers so far (not including the five typed pages saved in the computer). If you any of you would be so kind as to say a quick prayer for me, and that God would give me this dream job, it would be greatly appreciated. This is the first step in a highly incredible journey. I'll keep you informed as I find out more details. Thanks for reading!

Finished Henna

This is my henna from Sunday minus the henna paste. Pretty neat!

Sunday Evening Henna!

Got a little carried away with the henna tonight. It's a bit sloppy because of the application technique, but I still think it will turn out alright after I scrape the paste off and put some coconut oil on it. Both feet took me a total of 2 hours-ish. Worth it!

I Am.

I haven't posted in awhile, and reason is because when I come home from work each day, I put on dirty clothes and stalk Facebook and eat, and then go to bed. It's pathetic, I am aware. But I realized the other day that if I want you to read my blog, you'll have to have something to read! Duh. So for awhile, or until I get tired of it, run out of ideas, or forget, I will be posting writing prompts, responding to them myself, and challenging you to write about them, on your blog if you have one, or just in a journal. I'll start things off with a prompt that requires a good bit of self-assessment, and it's called the I Am prompt. For this, you will need to choose just one word that captures as much of you as one word can, and justify it with a bit of writing. I'll go first.
I am brave, and I am nervous. I am loud, and I am quiet. No one person can possibly predict what each day will bring out in me. I am one of the happiest people I know, but I am also at times gripped with the fiercest pangs of sadness and feelings of despair. Some days I wake up and miss the company of friends, and other days I wake up blissfully content in the fact that I will not have to communicate with the outside world face-to-face. Sometimes I think about moving to a big city pulsing with life and interesting people, but more often than that, I wonder about the life of hermits, and how peaceful they must feel, completely secluded from the harshness and letdowns that accompany a life spent in community of others. I feel the most uplifting type of optimism, and the most gut-twisting types of worry and doubt. I am mysterious some days, and open book on others. I am a puzzle with pieces that don't fit together, a mystery novel that ended without a resolution. I am: An enigma.

A Green Hope

Feng Shui, the ancient Chinese art of using the laws of both heaven and earth to orient living spaces and attain a better life, uses colors to symbolize different emotions and attributes. The color green represents health, growth, vitality, and most importantly, hope. A few weeks ago, I was faced with news that nearly broke my fragile teenage heart. My travel plans for Morocco were getting extremely complicated, due to the fact that I'm under 18 years old. I can't travel unaccompanied, and this could have been worked around just to get me there, but then I found out that in order to maintain a valid visa, I would have to leave the country every three months, accompanied by an adult that had paperwork showing that they were not, in fact, kidnapping me against my will. Not only would this become greatly expensive very quickly, but it would have placed an impossible burden on the family I would be living with. So I have to make the decision not to go to Morocco as planned. I found out while I was at school, and I had to leave Algebra two to go and sob in the restroom, on the phone with my mom. This was my plan, my next year, the first of many incredible travel experiences, the thing that set me apart from my peers, my escape. And it had broken and fallen out from under me in the course of a day. I could have come home from school, but I stayed. I didn't want to be alone with this crushing sadness. I cleaned up my red and puffy face, and as I walked to my next class, a friend asked me how I was, "my dreams died!" I mumbled, and then he gave me a hug, and I nearly lost my composure. When that day was finally over, another friend, who can always tell when I'm feeling awful, came over and asked if I was alright, because by this point I'm pretty sure I looked like the wreck I was. I squeaked out a no, and when he gave me a hug, I broke down all over again and cried as I tried to form coherent sentences and explain myself. My friends proved their kindness to me that day, because they stood with me, and when I was a hideous puddle of falling-apart girl, they wrapped their arms around me and held me together. When God gives us too much to handle, we are forced to put our broken hearts in his hands and say "take it from here," and when we do, we can move past the end of something we thought was best, and into the beginning of something designed by heaven, something we shouldn't even try to understand. So, I will be in Bozeman, working my hind end off and not going to high school, waiting. I have no idea what the future holds, if I'll go to Morocco, or if something I haven't even thought of will make itself known. But back to Feng Shui, get me green paint, because this is a year of hope.     -mads

An Ode To Gramma's House

I have many things I should be writing about, things that should take a higher priority than these ramblings. Things like graduation, summer time, work, and next year. Next year will be a chapter of it's own, because I really do have a lot to tell you about that. But, for the sake of tasty writing and nostalgia, I'm going to write about Minnesota instead. For the past three days I've been hanging out in the suburbs and shopping malls nestled in the lush green jungle that is Minnesota. We (my mother, Walter, and I) are staying with my grandparents, as usual. Unfortunately, this will be the last night I will ever see the house that is so dear to me. My grandparents are moving. They don't want to, but this house really is too big for two people who really shouldn't be using stairs anymore. So I have to soak it in, and remember it forever. And I really will miss it. The doors that mysteriously open when the slightest draft blows through, the super fun laundry shoot, the screened porch lovingly built by my grandpa, the basement with more food than a small grocery store. I will miss playing cards with my cousins on the porch until midnight, and eating popsicles until our teeth stained, the big birch tree in the front yard that we all drew pictures and initials on, and the countless mornings of sugared cereal and cartoons. I will miss The Hoopdidoop very much. The Hoopdidoop is a character invented by my grandpa, Frank, who is similar in terror to the bogey man, and whose territory is limited to the cold caverns of the basement. I will miss everything about that house, and no matter who moves into it when they move out, in my heart and memories, it will always be gramma's house. And lastly, to The Hoopdidoop: Thank you for sparing my life on countless trips to the basement, and though we never met, you will cherished in my memories forever. Happy haunting.      -mads