As I've come to learn, partially from my own experience and partially from the words of some very wise friends, dwelling in your past can stall the progress you hope to attain in the future. I understand, dwelling is easy, it requires no effort, no ambition, only the playback button on the faulty video camera that is our memory. Letting go and moving on are often painful, gut wrenching, and even frightening. What will we be when that relationship, that experience, or that season of our life is over? Will we change? Will there ever be anything that makes us feel the same way again? Worst of all, will the memories fade if we choose to let them go? Contrary to popular belief, letting go is not just a miserable time in which you give up, and wait around for that broken heart to slowly scab and eventually scar. In fact, letting go requires time and effort. Tons of it. Life in general is painful, even without the struggle to move on from a momentous event, so if you're struggling to let go and move on, here's what I have to say:
It happened, it was incredible, and your life was changed, but now it's over. And that's ok. A crucial part of letting go or moving on is the acceptance that it is over. You know that wonderful Hallmark-y saying? "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Though it may sound corny, it is true. It took me the longest time to figure that one out, and actually live it rather that repeat it like a mantra. If you are afraid of your memories fading, either write them down, or trust that your brain will cherish the most important ones for when you need them most. Next, you need to learn that while you may be tied to that event, and it is a part of you, you are not simply a part of it. You have bigger dreams, a thoroughly interesting future, and a complex life. You continue to exist and build your life even when it seems like the best part of it is over. Fret not, there will be other best parts of your life, whether you believe it or not. It doesn't matter if you can't figure a bit of your life out on your own. God knows what He's doing. Last, letting go and moving on won't happen over night. You have to work for healing and growth, and it might take a very, very long time. But never give up, because one day you will wake up and you will feel different, better. Not whole yet by any means, but hopeful, with the shiny shimmers of a bright future ahead. Your memories will have moved from your head to your heart, no longer overwhelming all your thoughts and causing you pain, but quieter, safer, in a place where they can stay forever. On that day, you will have taken one step towards moving on, and the rest will follow when the time is right. Be patient, be hopeful. Thanks for reading,
-mads
It happened, it was incredible, and your life was changed, but now it's over. And that's ok. A crucial part of letting go or moving on is the acceptance that it is over. You know that wonderful Hallmark-y saying? "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Though it may sound corny, it is true. It took me the longest time to figure that one out, and actually live it rather that repeat it like a mantra. If you are afraid of your memories fading, either write them down, or trust that your brain will cherish the most important ones for when you need them most. Next, you need to learn that while you may be tied to that event, and it is a part of you, you are not simply a part of it. You have bigger dreams, a thoroughly interesting future, and a complex life. You continue to exist and build your life even when it seems like the best part of it is over. Fret not, there will be other best parts of your life, whether you believe it or not. It doesn't matter if you can't figure a bit of your life out on your own. God knows what He's doing. Last, letting go and moving on won't happen over night. You have to work for healing and growth, and it might take a very, very long time. But never give up, because one day you will wake up and you will feel different, better. Not whole yet by any means, but hopeful, with the shiny shimmers of a bright future ahead. Your memories will have moved from your head to your heart, no longer overwhelming all your thoughts and causing you pain, but quieter, safer, in a place where they can stay forever. On that day, you will have taken one step towards moving on, and the rest will follow when the time is right. Be patient, be hopeful. Thanks for reading,
-mads
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