When Life Does Not Waltz

I don't have any potent life lessons. I don't have any revelations. I have no wordy, long-winded sermons on anything of meaning. Not right now at least. To be quite candid, my life is not shining with the brilliant luster that I wish it was. It is quiet, subdued, and every piece of me is hungry for some terrific adventure that I cannot find. I could tell you all to Live-in-the-moment, and make every bit of your life extraordinary, and while I might say it some other time, right now I just can't give advice that I'm not living out. I spend a good part of my nights at home, wearing a Snuggie and practically drowning myself in herbal tea. I sometimes wear mittens while I'm inside, because my hands are perpetually cold and I don't like turning the heat up. I look at pictures of food that I won't let myself eat. I go on monotonous runs through a nearby suburb, and eat canned soup for dinner. My motivation is far smaller than any of the things I should be doing, and as a result I waste a lot of time. I'm not proud of it, and I'm trying to make my moments count, but it's so difficult right now. Sometimes it's so easy, beautiful memories form effortlessly and time waltzes to a smooth melody. Now is not one of those times in my life. Time doesn't waltz, it plods, and no matter how slow they seem, many of the days in each month are hazy and blurred, as if they went by too fast for me to use. However, whether it's true or not, I've come to believe that sometimes things have to be like this, in order for greater things to take shape. Life must rest, just like people must rest, before charging into brave new adventures. If you feel like I do, if you relate to anything that I've written here, than you probably know what a scary feeling it is to feel purposeless, even for a short period of time. But fear not. We'll get through it. Hope for adventure, pray for purpose, work for peace. 
-mads