The 100th New Plan

So...News Flash: I am going to college. I said I would probably never go, but it seems like whatever I say lately, the very opposite is bound to happen. I realized something that broke my heart about a week ago: maybe I'm not meant to run away to Africa...Yet. It is all I've wanted for such a long time, it really shook my world up. I still miss Ethiopia more than anything, but I can't have everything I want. Unfortunately. It feels like every big dream I have turns to dust as soon as I get close enough to almost reach it. It hurts, but as a result, I've gotten pretty darn good at dealing with this whole failure thing. Oh, I should probably mention why I decided that college is necessary. I realized that if I truly want a prosperous future in which I impact maximum number of lives for the better, I need more education. I was struggling when God brought these things to my attention, and I argued that there was nothing I loved enough that I could study in college. But, things were cleared up pretty quick when The Lord told my heart "Maddie, you love to teach; you always have. You need to be a teacher." And there it is. I want to be a teacher. Crazy! If you've learned anything from reading my blog, it is that I cannot write consistently, I change my mind (which runs at a hundred miles an hour) A LOT, and that nothing in my life is for sure. Not a darn thing. I sure wish that wasn't true. I am very nervous for college, not for the usual reasons, but because it means four years in the same place, going to school, like I said I never would. I just want to be happy. I try so hard to be. I am planning to travel this summer, so that should get some of the wanderlust out of my system for a little while. Anyway, those are a few things that are new in my crazy-not-crazy life. Thanks for reading. As always.     -mads