What can we call this feeling I'm feeling? This revelation of light after a forever of darkness; this first breath after a coma of restless loneliness. I tried to find a most excellent word for such an excellent feeling, but after much contemplating, I still wasn't able to find one. For the majority of this school year I've felt rather trapped, distant, and lonely. But with this time away from the chaos and turbulence of every day life, my exhausted heart has had time to rest, heal old hurts, and become its own again. Yesterday I felt the distict moment I had been subconciously waiting for. In that moment, I accepted the things that I had been denying about my life and who I was to be, I let go of the forced hope for a plan that may not be right, and something inside said to me softly; "Go on." Suddenly, I found myself thinking about the possibilities that lie ahead, rather than willing my way upon my future. I sat in the backseat of a silver car, driving through suburbia as I thought these wonderful thoughts, and smiled from my insides out. What a superb feeling with which to begin a new year. We could call this feeling hope, we could call it happiness, but really, I don't think a word exists that describes it entirely. But that's alright, a feeling this marvelous doesn't require a name, it requires only that we let it make us better.
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