News. Not The Best.

Today I got the aforementioned news. I thought it would be about my job description, but it wasn't. They told me that it wasn't safe for me to go to Ethiopia alone, and they didn't know where I would live once I got there. Their solution is that I must wait until a female between 18 and 25 years of age applies, and then we will travel and live together. They aren't sure how long I will have to wait, and that scares me half to death. I know this is for the best, but I wanted different news. I got off the phone, and I cried. I cried until my nose was clogged and I was hiccupping between sobs. I don't know why I felt so discouraged and sad, but I did, and I still do. I don't want to wait anymore! I'm sick of it. They say that when one door closes another one opens. It doesn't matter to me what doors open if I can't walk through them. I pray that that other woman, who ever she is and where ever she is, would feel called to missions work soon, because I so desperately need to live in Ethiopia. My calling, my purpose, and my future are on the other side of the world. The people I miss, the lives I long to innteract with, are all going on without me. I think that I will go on a few more short term trips, though I have no idea how I will raise the funds. I said that I would not go on any more short term missions, but now I will do anything and everything to be in Ethiopia. Maybe I'll go other places while I wait, too. I have no idea. Just when I was laying down a plan, it was torn out from under me. Reader, please pray for my sanity. Just imagining living and working where I do for an indefinite amount of time breaks my restless heart. This is for the best. This is God's plan. I certainly don't understand it, but I suppose He means well for me. I have no Idea what the next year will bring, but right now I don't have the courage to wonder. God will show me. 

Small News

I have news: in the next few days, I should be receiving my job description for my P61. After that, I will fly to Thompson Station Church in Tennessee for some assessment interviews. After that, I should know whether or not I get to move to Ethiopia. It would be easy for me to be overcome by anxiety, but I am choosing to trust God in all things, and that means that I don't hold the plan. I am only a vessel for the purpose of Christ. I have faith in Him; He's never let me down before, and quite frankly, I don't think He'll start now. I want an escape, an adventure, a wild and irrational dream, and I want it now. But I can't do that. It's my restless immaturity talking, and it would be a mistake to settle for anything less than the plan God holds for my life. These past few months of my life has been an exercise in waiting, and I will be very relieved when I finally know some details of my future. Please pry for me, and that whatever news I receive about my potential job in Ethiopia, that God's will would be done and that I would take it in stride with maturity and grace.